


Here, Babe

by notevenbothered



Category: One Piece
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, ZoSan - Freeform, bit of fighting, mugiwara, nami interfering, this is chpt 11 of what was left behind my main long wip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 12:30:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11532267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notevenbothered/pseuds/notevenbothered
Summary: The Grand Line isn't really the place for a blossoming romance, but it's a good enough setting for the shitty swordsman and stupid cook.





	Here, Babe

**Author's Note:**

> This is chapter 11 of "What was left behind", so there are a like two references, but other than that it's completely stand alone so that's why I posted it by itself too.

“Here, Zoro.” A damp plate was passed from a blonde cook to a green haired swordsman.

“Mm.” There was a mumble in return and the plate was duly wiped dry.

“Here, Zoro.” Another plate passed.

“Mm.”

“Zoro, here.”

“Mm.”

“Zoro.”

“Mm.”

“Zoooro.”

“Mm.”

“Zoro, babe.”

The plate fell to the floor and cracked and Sanji started cackling loudly.

“What the hell, cook!” Zoro yelled, cheeks gone red. They did this every time Sanji mocked him, but they were flushed for another reason too right now.

“Don’t worry yourself, mossy, I was just checking if you were listening,” Sanji hummed, bending down to pick up the broken pieces of plate. “It was a cracked plate, I was gonna throw it out anyway.” He started giggling again. “That was a better reaction than I was hoping for, though.”

Zoro glared at him irritably, tricked, and said nothing. Sanji wasn’t bothered, in the few years he had known Zoro he knew his anger rarely lasted, especially over teasing. Their whole relationship was just them making fun of each other and fighting anyway, wasn’t it? They were Zoro and Sanji, great rivals of the Straw-hat crew. But these days, he thought, they were almost friends to the extent that he could call him “babe” ( _jokingly_ ) without feeling embarrassed.

His nakama’s stance remained stiff. There were days when he’d relish in Zoro’s discomfort, but three years into being in the crew together and their relationship _had_ somewhat softened so that Sanji decided to smooth things over. He decided to not mention the plate/babe mishap again and go back to what they were doing before.

“Heeeere, Zoro,” he passed a damp plate.

“Yeah.”

For some reason, the swordsman was still being a little cold about it and Sanji frowned. On a normal day when Zoro was mad at him it was fine, because he’d probably kicked him or insulted him. Right now, it felt a little different. Usually he loved making Zoro feel uncomfortable, but he knew Zoro well enough to understand him and read him and decided to take a different course of action this time. (Gross, when did this start. Years ago, he realised).

“I’m sorry for laughing at you,” he nudged Zoro’s shoulder, “Stop being grumpy or you’ll ruin our dish washing bonding time. We’ll have to schedule in another bit of hand to hand combat to make up for it tomorrow.” He wondered if it was the laughing Zoro was being cold over, or being tricked into dropping the plate.

 ~~Zoro was thinking about how “Babe” sounded coming from Sanji’s mouth, and how his giggle sounded afterwards~~.

“It’s fine, babe,” Zoro cracked a smirk suddenly.

A foot swung round, but expecting it he ducked, giving his own cackle.

“Don’t make this a thing bastard, I can’t let Nami think my affections have wavered,” Sanji huffed, but the secret pleasant rush of adrenaline he got from a fight (teasing or not) with Zoro stopped him feeling any real annoyance.

Wait, what.

Zoro had literally just called him babe, and Sanji was too happy about conversing with him to care. Three years ago, he’d have been furious. Christ, they really were friends, weren’t they?

No, they were literally antagonising each other, Sanji had called him babe to annoy him, Zoro had retaliated, and Sanji was just getting adrenaline from the possibility of a fight. He had been mocking, not teasing, as he spoke about their bonding time.

They didn’t need bonding time, they were worst enemies! Rivals!

Zoro’s laughter broke him out of his downward spiral. It was a nice laugh really. Maybe “friends” wasn’t so bad.

The next morning Zoro called his breakfast crap, and Sanji saw nothing but red as they battled outside on deck, all thoughts of friendship forgotten.

That evening when Zoro helped him do the dishes they were laughing again, all thoughts of battle forgotten. Maybe _this_ was their relationship, it just didn’t have a name.

* * *

 

The term “Zoro and Sanji” was common vocabulary on the Thousand Sunny, for many reasons. The two just tended to be associated with each other. At first it was because of their constant fighting.

“What was that noise?”

“Zoro and Sanji fighting again.”

Or

“Someone tell Zoro and Sanji to stop shouting at each other and start working.”

Or

“Zoro and Sanji are squabbling, let me go stop them.”

Then as the crew started to gel and get into the swing of things, it was because of how their fighting styles meshed together, and in a fight they two were the backdrop of Monster Trio behind Luffy. They three protected the crew, fighting the worst adversaries. Luffy would charge off, and it was Zoro and Sanji together behind him.

They were the two that Nami called when she needed a combat job done that she didn’t trust their frivolous captain to do. They were the two that were near unstoppable when they decided to fight together for once, like back during the Davy Back fight.

Then what started happening was the two began to gravitate towards each other. Zoro found he liked the peace of the kitchen, but had to pay his way in by helping Sanji out with the dishes. This task was fairly easy, and he on occasion received treats such as being referred to as “babe”. Sanji never even called Nami or Robin that.

They were closest to each other in age, both nineteen when they met three years earlier and Zoro five months older. This meant neither were particular amused by the antics that kept Luffy, Usopp and Chopper so entertained (not that they didn’t like to join in sometimes, it was just that seeing who could hold the most golf balls in their mouth at once didn’t seem like their idea of a good time. Especially as it was obvious Luffy would win).

So, as it happened, on occasion things would happen like this: Luffy and Chopper would be entertaining each other with their weird dance-play routine, Brook providing the music, Franky and Usopp are downstairs tinkering in their offices, and the girls are sunbathing. This leaves Zoro and Sanji to either do their own thing (one in the kitchen, one working out in the crow’s nest) or if nothing else to do, gravitate towards each other and end up hanging out or fighting.

Maybe it was also due to their age, but they seemed to understand each other better than anyone else too, knowing what the other was thinking and their reasoning behind decisions better than anyone else. They both maintained that the other was an idiot of course, when one of them did something stupid that the other couldn’t comprehend.

Sanji smoked death sticks.

Zoro consumed copious amounts of sake.

Sanji became the undying slave of every girl he came across.

Zoro would get lost on a straight path.

Yes, they both thought the other was an insufferable idiot in this way, but at the same time it was Zoro who sensed when Sanji was upset and why, and Sanji who knew how to pull on every one of Zoro’s strings. It was how Sanji knew the exact time Zoro would wonder into the kitchen asking for a drink, and how Zoro knew when to avoid the kitchen because Sanji was deep in prep work and would kill anyone that interrupted his chopping and slicing routine.

The almost-friendship blooming between them was probably based on this bond they had. Zoro and Sanji.

“Zoro and Sanji went shopping,” Nami said to Luffy when he was looking for his best spar buddies. Sighing, he trounced off to try and probe Chopper into a wrestling match instead.

Zoro and Sanji had gone shopping. They had landed on an island and Sanji needed a pack mule to help carry groceries, so the swordsman was hired (for free) and taken into the most promising looking village. He wondered if he would come into the company of any nice ladies, like at that island a little while ago. Lovely Clara, he thought.

“Stop pulling that face, we haven’t even seen any women yet,” Zoro snapped at him, well familiar with the expression crossing Sanji’s face.

“I was _thinking_ of a lovely woman,” Sanji snapped back. Ah, to be in that lady’s warm company again, instead of this beefy marimo-cake.

“Any particular one?”

“The one from Periwinkle, if you must know,” for some reason Sanji wanted to defend himself, he didn’t want Zoro thinking he was just musing about some faceless lady. Shit, why did he care if Zoro thought he was shallow or not?

Whatever reaction he was hoping for, he didn’t get any response from the swordsman, whose face had that funny expression he had seen as they sailed away from Periwinkle.

Zoro was being reminded of how definitely straight Sanji was. But who cared, that had always been the case. And they’d sailed far away now, he and the woman from Periwinkle would never meet again, she’d probably already forgotten about him. (A few months pregnant, she definitely hadn’t).

This was how every conversation between Sanji and himself went, he reminded himself, petty arguments. There were times like when they were washing dishes that it felt different, but he knew it always came back round to this. 

But there was something about the cook, and the way he treated him in his nice moments, that made Zoro wish they didn’t.

“Zoroo,” he heard Sanji call, and realised he had veered in the opposite direction.

“The path moved,” he explained, jogging to catch up. He wouldn’t admit it out loud but Sanji was usually on the correct path to wherever they were going.

“Ah, that darn path,” Sanji said cheerfully, no scathing comment like Zoro was expecting. “Well I’ll keep an eye on it from here on to make sure it doesn’t move. The town is just up ahead, it probably has a substantial market by the size of it.”

Sanji had been nicer to him lately, apologising for making fun of him earlier that week, and now not making fun of his directionless ways directly, only backhandedly.

“Then it will have the nutmeg you wanted,” Zoro said.

“The nutmeg?”

“Yeah,” Zoro frowned in annoyance, “You were complaining you were out of it a few weeks ago.”

Sanji stared at him, softly, “I didn’t know you listened.”

“I listen to you,” Zoro grumbled, “It doesn’t matter, there’ll be nutmeg and that’s what you want.”

“Yeah,” Sanji nodded, “That’s what I want.” And then he smiled at him, that genuine, bright one with the squinty eyes and teeth, and Zoro realised he wanted to give Sanji whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it.

As they ventured into town there was a pleasant vibe between them, one that only usually emerged when they were alone together late at night, or when they both found something funny and laughed together.

The nutmeg was found, and when Sanji bought it he winked at Zoro (Zoro’s heart stopped) and tossed it into the basket.

They passed into the town, and Sanji immediately followed the scent of something delicious coming from a stall.

“Delicious!” he said, something he could tell without tasting, “What are these?”

“They’re a type of special pork bun from around these parts,” the old lady behind the stall told him with a gummy grin, “You won’t find any better ones than from here!”

“Ah, wonderful,” Sanji was about to reach for his wallet when he remembered he had taken his eye off of Zoro, who must have wondered off by now. Turning, he almost jumped to see the swordsman standing behind him, with his usual little frown on his face, not having run off. (It wasn’t his angry or annoyed frown, it was the one he had when he was thinking about something).

“I’ll get two,” Zoro said, handing her some coins.

“Hungry today, matcha-mochi,” Sanji grinned. It slipped off his face when Zoro handed one to him.

“One’s for you, dumbass.”

“Oh,” he took it, oddly touched, “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” Zoro turned to walk away, “Like literally, I don’t want Luffy thinking I’ll buy him food.”

The grin returned to Sanji’s face and he skipped after him, “So I’m special then, marimo?”

“No!”

Sanji smiled wider and took a bite, “Mmm, this is good. I might go back and see if I can wheedle the recipe off her.”

“You said once local vendors never give away their secrets.”

“You really do listen!” Sanji laughed, “And yet you can’t follow directions to save your life.”

The pleasant feeling in Zoro’s stomach was promptly removed with this remark, so he shot back, “And you can’t get a woman to save your life.”

The cook’s face darkened, “Don’t refer to ladies as objects! And I got one at the last island, remember?”

“Yeah you won’t shut up about it.”

“Hey, fu-,”

Sanji’s profanity was cut across by a person at another stall. “Excuse me, did I hear that one of you had problems with women?”

“He has many problems, not necessarily with women,” Zoro said, not quite dodging the kick aimed his way.

“I _do_ have many problems and you. Are. All. Of. Them,” he aimed a new kick with each word, and Zoro unsheathed his swords to counter them.

“WELL,” the woman at the stall raised her voice to catch their attention again, “May I suggest this Beauty Mist- it makes you appear up to four times as beautiful to your preferred sex!”

“Really?” Sanji was interested suddenly, “Aren’t I handsome enough already?”

Sanji _was_ handsome, to be fair, Zoro thought. Stupidly handsome, really.

“Ah, but _four times_ as handsome, imagine the power,” she purred. “5000 Beri for a bottle.”

 _We’re being conned_ , Zoro realised. “He’s too ugly, it’s a lost cause,” he said to catch the cook’s attention, which he got in a whirlwind of a fury. He subtly guided the fight away from the woman’s “Beauty mist” stall.

They were still squabbling ten minutes later, but it was a friendlier type of squabble by now. Sanji was still annoyed though, saying, “What the hell did you _mean_ I’m a lost cause?”

“You know, 0 x 4 is still 0,” Zoro shrugged.

“I’m surprised you even know that,” Sanji said, but the kicking he’d done in the past ten minutes had gotten him over his anger. He plucked his shopping list from his breast pocket, “We still need to get groceries, and Nami’s scented candles.”

Zoro knew for a fact she wasn’t planning on paying Sanji back for them. “Great. Judging by the smell of that stall we’d better go over there.”

Sanji gave him a thumbs up (only half mocking) and strolled over. “Nami likes orange scented, and rose for evenings,” he considered it, “I’ll get her both.” Zoro gave him a thumbs up, fully mocking. Sanji stuck his tongue out at him and paid for the candles, before something else caught his eye. He picked the object of interest and asked the salesperson,

“What’s this?” He flicked it open, it was a pocket mirror, silver and intricately designed. Pearls and blue gems adorned it. Even Zoro, who didn’t care much for physical possessions, had to admit it was attractive.

“A handmade and painted pocket mirror, I’ll give it you half price for buying all the candles.”

Sanji’s eyes brightened, “Thank you so much, good sir!” He paid for it eagerly and turned to show Zoro. “What do you think?”

“Aren’t mirrors a girl’s thing?”

The wrong thing to say, Sanji’s eyes narrowed and his happy expression evaporated. “Oh no, I didn’t realise only women were meant to use mirrors. And all this time I’ve been a fool to use them to look at myself in. Men are just meant to imagine what they look like. How embarrassing.”

He turned on his heel dramatically and stormed off.

Zoro realised he’d made a mistake, and it occurred to him it had actually been spectacularly friendly of Sanji to show him what he’d just bought. “Sanjiii, wait up, mirrors aren’t just for girls, I know that.”

“Hmph,” was the reply.

“I actually thought it was cool myself.”

“Sure.”

“Come on man, I’m sorry what do you want from me?”

A pause, a look up and down from Sanji, and then, “Another one of those pork buns.”

So easy? “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Done.”

It really was this easy, these days, Zoro realised, to make up. Not just hold grudges and fight it out like how they’d done for so long. So why hadn’t they decided to be friends earlier?

* * *

 

“Sanji-kunnn, did you get my scented candles?” Nami called, walking over to greet them with her manipulate-Sanji facial expression on as they returned to the ship.

“Yesss, Nami-san,” Sanji spun to meet her, gazing at her adoringly, “Don’t worry about paying me back, they’re on me.”

“Aww, really?” she snatched them without waiting for an answer.

“I only want your warm regard as payment!”

“Well you have it,” and then she sashayed off to the bathroom to light them while bathing.

Sanji sighed. “Such a lovely flower.”

“She was entirely taking advantage of you,” said Zoro.

“Nami wouldn’t do a thing like that,” came the defensive reply, “Take the groceries into the storeroom for me.”

Luffy followed them into the galley hoping for a snack but got a kick in the head in its place. “What’s the rule, Luffy?”

The captain recited wallowingly, “No snacks until Sanji unpacks.”

“Good boy,” in a giving mood, Sanji threw him in an apple. Luffy caught it in his mouth and grinned as he flounced away to go play again. Sanji walked into the storeroom where Zoro had deposited the sack of supplies.

“Am I done here?” Zoro asked, bored of shopping.

“One more thing,” Sanji said, and Zoro’s shoulders slumped. Sanji’s reached into the sack and tossed him a bottle of expensive sake, Zoro’s favourite he knew.

“Huh?”

“For you, marimo-brain,” Sanji raised his eyebrows, “Unless you don’t want it.”

“Fuck that,” Zoro had already uncapped it, “What do I owe you?”

“Nothing, jackass, I just felt like buying it for you.”

Zoro processed this for a moment, then said, “So you don’t even want my warm regard?”

A flash of white hot anger seared through Sanji and manifested in him aiming a savage kick to Zoro’s head. “I only want ladies’ warm regard!”

“Too late.”

“Take it back! Take it back!” Sanji shrieked.

Zoro laughed as he ran out and away from flaming legs, “Too late, cook! My warm regard is all yours!”

* * *

 

And so continued the strange relationship between the swordsman and the cook. Best friends one moment, worst enemies the next and underlying it all a mysterious attraction. The rest of the crew had clued into it now, the friendlier conversations, the near _flirting_. The ladies were gossiping about it as they sunbathed (the weather had taken a warm turn).

“Do you think there’s something going on between Zoro and Sanji-kun?” Nami asked Robin.

“I think something’s been going on there since before I even joined the crew.”

“Really?” Nami sat up, “I only noticed recently they spend all their time together. _And_ they shared that look at dinner yesterday, when I mentioned he’d bought more nutmeg.”

“I suppose we never really discuss,” Robin paused then continued, “Sexual orientations, aboard this ship, do we?” They didn’t, no one was sure whether Luffy even had a sexual orientation.

Nami gasped, “Do you think that’s what’s going on? But Sanji’s so…”

“Lady prone,” Robin agreed.

“Wow, for so long I thought they despised each other.”

“I don’t think anything’s happened just yet,” the older woman hummed, “But their regard to each other has certainly shifted.”

Indeed, it had shifted, as Sanji found himself placed firmly in Zoro’s warm regard. And he also found he didn’t mind it. He still wasn’t sure what it was, but lately he just felt like doing nicer things for Zoro, like buying him sake, and trying to improve the mood when he’d annoyed him. He was enjoying Zoro’s company more and more these days, he’d once even sought his attention instead of his ladies’ when he found his afternoon free.

Well today they wouldn’t be so neglected! Sanji poured two glasses of lemonade and went to serve them to his lovely flowers. He swept out of the kitchen and onto the deck, knowing the girls would be out there in the sun. What he hadn’t been expecting was a shirtless marimo outside too, lifting his weights in the open air instead of in the crow nest.

It wasn’t a sight he saw often unless he went up there. Those biceps, chiselled abs, tanned skin glistening slightly in the heat. Face intense with concentration, muscles rippling as he worked them. Honestly Sanji could just-

“Sanji-kun! Are those drinks for us?”

Nami! He’d forgotten all about his favourite flower! Tearing his eyes away from Zoro (crap he must have been staring for an embarrassing length of time) he flew over to them and bowed as he offered the tray, saying, “Of course, Nami! I made them especially for you and Z-,” _what the fuck_ , “-you and Robin!”

“ _Zrobin_ and I appreciate it,” Nami’s smiled deviously as she sipped her lemonade. Sanji’s smile became very strained.

“Ha ha well you’re welcome my lovely, call me if you need anything else,” he said quickly, and ran.

The galley door slammed behind him and Nami and Robin burst into laughter.

“He’s not even being subtle,” Nami grinned, “Blackleg Sanji, bisexual extraordinaire, who knew?”

“Our swordsman has yet to notice,” Robin said, glancing at where Zoro was concentrating as hard on his weights before, unaware of his brief one-man audience. “Going by the way he stares at cook, it seems the affection is mutual.”

* * *

 

Sanji, in the kitchen, was trying and failing to convince himself such affection was _not_ mutual, on his part at least. He definitely wasn’t attracted to the shitty swordsman; his hair was _green_. And he was too muscular, and the scar completely ruined his complexion. It didn’t make him look rugged and distinguished and kissable-

D e f i n i t e l y n o t k i s s a b l e.

Desperate to distract himself he wondered if the ladies would want a dessert. No, lunch was too soon, and they hadn’t finished the ice creams he’d made them yet. The boys? When did they not want a snack, but Sanji made a point to serve ladies first and the men as an afterthought. His hands were itching to do something though ~~like run through Zoro’s hair~~ so he thought _screw it_ and whipped up some churros. He burst out of the galley and looking pointedly away from Zoro yelled, “SNACKS, LOSERS!”

The stampede was immediate, and the captain was held off with a foot after he grabbed his first handful to give the others a chance to get at them. Nami and Robin called no thank you’s, then went back to their hushed whispering and glancing at Sanji.

Usually he adored being talked about by his angels, the honour of it, but today he felt like it wasn’t something particularly favourable about him. Still, he at least got the glow of happiness in his heart from his nakama enjoying their food and munching it happily. The glow ebbed slightly when Zoro ambled over.

“Leave something for me,” he said, swatting at Luffy’s hand which was trying its hardest to claim the last few churros, and suddenly his shirtless body was very close to Sanji’s.

Sanji tried his best not to let his eyes wonder back down to Zoro’s chest or arms, instead they flickered to his face. Ah yes, he looked stupid trying to chew on three churros at once. Much better.

Not it wasn’t. He looked fucking cute.

“Fwanks,” Zoro said through his food.

Sanji whacked him over the head with the plate and screamed, “DON’T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL!” and stormed away, leaving his crew bewildered.

“Talk about mood swings,” Zoro murmured simply, rubbing his sore head. It was strange, Sanji had been staring at him in an almost soft manner before assaulting him.

“Sanji’s mating ritual is very different with men to women,” Robin remarked quietly.

The days continued, as did Sanji’s new strange behaviour. He’d be nice as pie to Zoro one moment, giving him that bright smile, then the next he’d snap and needed to take ten minutes alone in the storeroom. This was also odd, as usually when he was mad he’d just start a fight and everything could be resolved.

It was really strange things that made him turn on Zoro, too.

One time, he had simply bent down to pick up Sanji’s watch which he’d dropped. Another time, he’d just smiled at him. The blonde had been baking more too, stress baking it seemed like. Luffy had never been happier. It baffled Zoro, because he wasn’t sure if he’d done anything wrong, in any case their friendship or whatever it was had improved drastically lately. He decided a confrontation was in order to find out why Sanji was so jumpy with him lately.

He entered the galley one morning when he knew it would just be Sanji alone in the kitchen. The cook sensed him at once and said, “You’re up early.”

“Yeah, I am.” _The things I do for this cook_ , he thought. It was quarter to six in the morning, disgusting.

“Any reason, marimo,” Sanji was chopping parsley has he spoke, in those swift motions too fast for the eye to see. Sometimes Zoro was glad he’d never taken up sword fighting.

He walked into the kitchen area, “Yeah, you’ve been mad at me lately for no reason.”

“No I haven’t,” he started chopping the parsley quicker.

“Yesterday I patted your shoulder and you stormed off as though I’d insulted you!”

(It had sent tingles and pleasant confusing emotions through Sanji that he wasn’t quite ready to face or think over in public, thus he made a getaway).

“No,” Sanji denied, the parsley being minced.

A burst of anger shot through Zoro, “Stop lying!” He brought his fist down on the counter without thinking. He heard a smash and a crunch under his fist. Sanji’s eyes had turned very dark, and almost disappointed, like _look what you’ve done_.

Zoro looked down, and saw under his hand when he lifted it the pocket mirror Sanji had bought that he’d liked so much. “Shit, sorry-,”

“Just fuck off,” Sanji’s voice was dead and monotone, not even angry. He threw the broken mirror into the bin and locked himself into the storeroom.

That fucking swordsman. First, he had to confuse Sanji with his stupid face and smile and laugh, and now he has the audacity to be annoyed at _Sanji_ and also break his mirror! He liked that mirror! Okay, Sanji was very possibly slightly in the wrong for going hot and cold on Zoro and then denying it. But Zoro _had_ now broken his mirror, which he had been very pleased with! Robin had even complimented it!

He left the storeroom to find the galley empty, all traces of the swordsman gone. He wondered absently if he’d hurt his feelings, but with food to prep got back to his parsley. He had accidentally chopped it into a paste. Sighing, he scraped it into the bin. Had he looked more carefully, he’d have seen that the broken mirror he had thrown away was no longer in it.

* * *

 

Sanji was getting bored of being talked about. Robin and Nami were still at it, and now Franky and Brook had joined their conversations too. Usopp kept looking at him, and then back to Zoro, but separate from the others.

Zoro wasn’t talking to Sanji, so Sanji decided not to talk to Zoro. The two didn’t look at each other all through dinner, providing food for gossip right into the crews’ bellies. After dinner Zoro left quickly with Usopp.

 _I guess I’m doing the dishes alone_ Sanji thought morosely. _Shitty swordsman_.

It was so dumb, he used to do the dishes by himself all the time. And he used to be on non-talking terms with Zoro most of the time without being bothered at all. Now, after less than a year of being civil to each other and then becoming sort of friends, he was already feeling kind of lame.

He finished the dishes alone, and then the galley door opened. Zoro walked in, with a guarded expression, not catching Sanji’s eye.

“Zoro?” Sanji asked, puzzled. He walked to meet him.

The swordsman thrust a package towards him and then looked away awkwardly, cheeks flushed. Sanji looked down at it and carefully tore off the paper.

Inside was his mirror, cracked but put back together painstakingly.

“I got Usopp to mend it,” Zoro was still looking away.

Sanji stared at him, at a loss for words, heart hammering and breathless. “Thank you,” he said, voice gentle, “I mean it.” At the softness of his words Zoro finally looked at him, and then looked taken aback at the touched look on Sanji’s face.

“I just felt bad,” he said quietly, eyes locked with Sanji’s, transfixed.

“No, I feel bad,” Sanji said hurriedly, “You’re right I’ve been a dick lately. I’ve just had a lot on my mind you weren’t doing anything wrong.”

Zoro seemed as lost as he was, “I- good. I’m glad we’re, you know.”

“Yeah, me too.”

They stared at each other for a moment more, neither knowing if they should say anything more, or do anything, or just keep staring deeply into each other’s eyes. Both were aware something had changed, and both liked it. Zoro broke the silence. “Do you want to come have a drink with me, in the orange grove?”

“Yeah,” Sanji nodded, “Sure.”

So, they sat alone together under the rustling orange trees, drinking straight from their bottles as the ship sailed through the night. They were technically on watch, but the seas were empty around them with no trace of danger, and the deck was just as solitary. Wisps of clouds passed over the stars, but the night sky remained brilliant with them. They were talking, not about anything in particular, but they talked for a long time.

As both got slightly tipsy they’re conversations started getting deeper.

“Come on man, you’ve gotta answer.”

“No way,” Zoro was shaking his head resolutely, “Nuh uh.”

“Don’t be a bitch, would you rather fuck Luffy or Franky?”

“Naaaah, man,” Zoro still refused to answer, “I don’t even wanna think of Luffy that way, and Franky is like all metal how could I even.”

“Okay, Franky or Brook?”

“Noooooooo,” Zoro waved his had dismissively, “Whatever shit you’re into, I want no part of it.”

“Are you saying I wanna fuck cyborgs and skeletons,” Sanji challenged.

“Shit, Sanj, I’m not here to judge.”

“Okay, okay, okay, shut up,” Sanji decided to ask a new question, “You need to answer this one!” He pointed a serious finger at Zoro. “Do you actually think I’m a zero?”

“Eh?”

“You said 0 x 4 is still 0,” Sanji reminded him, “I’m many things but a zero is not one of them!”

“Are you still thinking about that?” Zoro said in disbelief, “I was just trying to piss you off.”

Nodding as though he knew this already, Sanji said, “Yeah, not be arrogant but I’m at least a seven.”

Tipsiness clouding Zoro’s judgement, he said, “You’re like a ten, cook.”

Sanji stopped in shock immediately. “What?”

“You look in the mirror enough you must know it,” Zoro decided he might as well go all out, “You use that dumb silver one you bought enough.”

“You think I’m attractive though?”

“Well, yeah.”

Sanji wasn’t entirely sure what to say to that, but his mind had a sudden influx of information he finally felt ready to process. They had been spending more and more amicable time together. In those amicable moments, they kept flirting. _My warm regard is all yours. Buy me another pork bun. Zoro, babe. It’s fine, babe._ The two spent most of their time together. He couldn’t stop staring at Zoro’s chest.

He thought Zoro’s face was cute. He thought Zoro’s face was kissable.

Zoro’s face was pretty kissable.

So Sanji shuffled forward in between Zoro’s outstretched legs and kissed it. Zoro’s lips were soft under his, his face warm and lovely and his mouth hot and wet when he opened it. Zoro’s hands moved to his hips and pulled him closer and Sanji found himself following willingly, placing his own hands on the swordsman’s shoulders.

In the back of his mind it occurred to him _wow I’m kissing Zoro who saw this coming_ but the front of his mind was solely focused on Zoro’s body against his and their mouths moving together, and Zoro’s soft hair under his hands now. It all felt so right how could he have felt like it was wrong to want Zoro? Right now, everything about wanting him seemed entirely natural.

Zoro broke away suddenly, flushed and with glossy lips, “I thought you like women?”

“I _prefer_ women,” Sanji clarified, quirking his eyebrow.

The swordsman took a moment to consider this. The substance of all his latest fantasies had just come true and he had a willing and pliant cook on his lap looking at him expectantly.

Zoro said, “So do you think _I’m_ attractive then?”

“You’re ugly as fuck, babe.”

“Thanks, babe,” he grinned, and they both surged forward so that their lips met again, more passionately this time, and Sanji thought that he definitely preferred Zoro in this moment.

* * *

 

The shift between them was immediate, and unmissable to their crew. The cook and the swordsman were suddenly attached at the hip, whispering to each other, smiling with giddy, happy smiles and sharing little touches in public. Sanji started running his hands through Zoro’s hair (now that he knew it was this soft how could he stop?). Zoro’s hands kept resting on Sanji’s hip, or gently stroked the inside of his wrist. It was all casual, like they barely realised they were doing it, but the crew had never had such juicy gossip.

“Why are Zoro and Sanji in such good moods lately?” Luffy asked one evening.

“They’re in their honeymoon phase,” Usopp explained.

Zoro never missed washing up time, because afterwards he always got a make out session. Sanji stopped going hot and cold and remained a steady, blissful warm; friendly and flirting to Zoro all day. Not only that, but while they washed their conversations changed too.

“Here, babe.” A damp plate was passed from a blonde cook to a green haired swordsman.

“Thanks, babe.”

They both sniggered. Their new relationship or whatever it was (the two had obviously not talked about it) was still funny to them too. Having once been such rivals, being close and amorous like this amused them.

“Last plate.”

“Sweet.”

He dried it swiftly, grabbed Sanji’s waist and pulled him close to him, kissing him hard. It still surprised him a little how quickly Sanji responded, throwing his arms around him and kissing back. Their bodies fit together like it was meant to be, and their mouths moved perfectly against each other.

Zoro lifted Sanji up, and the cook’s legs immediately wrapped around him. Those strong, powerful legs that had snapped so many necks, now clutching him as he lifted his blonde up and onto a counter, moving his mouth to kiss at Sanji’s neck.

“We’re not fucking in my kitchen,” Sanji whispered when he felt Zoro press closer.

“Why nottt,” Zoro whined against his neck.

“Because we aren’t! Fucking is restricted to crow’s nest only!”

Zoro sighed and settled for taking Sanji’s mouth for himself again, because to be honest sex at all was more than anything he’d imagined would ever happen between them. He teased his tongue into Sanji’s mouth, swallowing the soft moan that he got in return. He was just sliding his fingers under Sanji’s shirt-

The door swung open and the captain walked in. “Hey guys.”

They froze in horror, but he just yawned and strolled into the kitchen, got a glass of water and left again. “I’ll tell Nami she was right.”

The two remained frozen for a minute or two, before Zoro murmured quietly, “Fuck.”

“Probably,” Sanji whispered back.

The straw-hat pirates thus had their first ever couple. Well, a couple as in two people engaging in romantic activities, neither had tried instigate any kind of official thing. Nami decided it would be her mission to get more details, as she was thrilled that her intuition had been right.

She sidled up to him one afternoon when he was alone taking a smoke, “So, Sanji-kunn, how are things going with Zoro.”

He promptly choked on nothing and took a long drag from his cigarette, and said rapidly, “Fine, why do you ask?”

“Well, you two are dating now, huh?” she purred.

“Absolutely not,” Sanji said. Oh.

“You’re… not?”

“As if I would date plant life,” Sanji said, “We just enjoy each other’s physical company is all.”

 _The denial is strong within this one_. “Really, that’s all?” she asked in disbelief.

“Yes,” Sanji looked pleased with himself for coming to the conclusion.

“Hmm,” Nami remained non-committal, she turned to look back at the deck. Sanji followed her lead and looked over too. “Well that’s sure interesting.”

“My heart belongs entirely to you and Robin!”

“Great,” she yawned. How were they going to fix this? On deck, Zoro was sitting with Chopper helping him organise herbs. “He does look cute helping out Chopper thought, right?”

Sanji’s gaze grew soft and he said without thinking, “He’s cute whatever he does.” He realised his mistake and fear took over his face as Nami started laughing delightedly.

She was clapping her hands as she whooped, “Your heart doesn’t belong to us at all, honey!” Sanji didn’t look pleased with this remark, but he remained silent, no attempt to deny it, and took in another breath of smoke.

“We’re not dating,” he insisted one last time, and the navigator simply nodded as she strolled away, very content, to share her new information.

Meanwhile, Chopper was asking Zoro more innocently about the new couple. “Are you two mates now?”

“Depends what you mean by it,” he replied casually, in a moment where Sanji would have had an aneurism being asked such a question.

“It means you engage in intercourse.”

“We do that,” Zoro said, “But human relationships tend to be different to that.”

“What do you mean?”

Screwing a jar of poppy seeds closed Zoro said, “There are many types of ‘mates’ as you say. There’s friends with benefits, couples, committed couples and non-committed couples, open relationships, polyamory,” he listed.

“What are you two?”

Zoro stopped, realising he didn’t quite know. “We haven’t spoken about it. We’re not a… couple I don’t think.”

“What do couples do?”

“That means there are romantic feelings involved,” he said, “I guess the closest thing is, uh, friends with benefits?”

“You two are friends now?” Chopper asked happily, glad their time as adversaries was over, and not particularly baffled by the explanation of the types of human relationships.

Zoro, however, was increasingly baffled by this conversation. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“And there’s no romantic feelings involved,” Chopper finished, having gathered this from Zoro saying they weren’t a couple. He felt quite pleased with himself, it was like being a detective. Only Zoro didn’t seem very pleased with this.

For him, there was many a romantic feeling involved. But loud laughter drew his attention to the fact the blonde was talking with his precious Nami over by the railings. “None,” he lied.

To be fair, the Zoro and Sanji were pretty happy as things were. Romance was never high on Zoro’s list, and he considered it a bit of a waste of time, so really not being an official couple was ideal. Being just whatever they were meant he got to have Sanji, but not bother romancing him. He knew all Sanji wanted was attention and nice comments, like “you look nice in that shirt”, and he was happy. Quite a low maintenance lover, though quite easy to displease. (The only problem was that not being a couple meant that Sanji was technically free to go be someone else’s. That wasn’t ideal).

Sanji was fine with as things were too. He just liked the feeling of being in Zoro’s arms and being close to him. That didn’t mean he had to accept any romantic feelings. He didn’t _have_ any romantic feelings, the fuzziness in his heart when he was near Zoro was just attraction. No, there was no way he could have feelings for a green haired brute. The idea of them being boyfriends and official certainly didn’t make his heart flutter.

He belonged to women, after all, he was put on this earth to serve them!

The only reason his enthusiasm as he served Nami and Robin was a little more forced these days was because he must be ill. It wasn’t that he felt any less for them! He must just be a little stressed, that was why he couldn’t find his usual enthusiasm for them.

He knew it would be fixed soon. They’d gotten word there was a large party cruise ship nearby, which allowed pirate vessels to board it to have a good time. There would be so many pretty women there it would be impossible for Sanji to not feel his usual way.

_Would Zoro mind?_

Who cared if Zoro minded, they weren’t official, they didn’t _like_ like each other, they just liked each other now and liked kissing. It wasn’t a relationship or anything.

 _It’s kind of a relationship_.

Sanji mentally Diablo Jambe’d his conscience to make it shut up and got back to chopping apples for a pie Luffy had requested. The captain had been lectured by Chopper lately for eating a lack of fruit and vegetables, and Luffy decided the best way to rectify this was to eat lots of fruit desserts.

“Luffy, the sugar counteracts the good-,” Chopper tried to say.

“Fruit is healthy!” Luffy declared happily.

“Fruit has a lot of sugar in it, vegetables are also important-,”

“Sanji will make me lots of fruit pies!”

Eventually Chopper had to concede that something was better than nothing, but mentioned quietly to Sanji to slip more greens into Luffy’s food and stop letting him have so much sugar. Sanji was sterner than Chopper, a better enforcer. “I’ll stop letting you have so much too, then,” Sanji said teasingly.

Chopper looked horrified, “No, no my diet is fine!!”

“Hmm, but you do like your candy…”

“Sanjiii!”

The cook grinned at him and patted his head, “I’m only joking Chopper, I wouldn’t keep you away from your cotton candy sandwiches.”

The reindeer let out a puff of relief, then looked at him hopefully, “Could I have one now, it’s just that I’m not sure if they’ll have anything I want to eat on this cruise vessel…”

It would undoubtedly have all kinds of food, but the sandwiches were easy to make so Sanji rustled one up for him before going back to rolling out pastry. “Eat it quickly,” he told Chopper, “We’ll be there soon.” He could already hear the pulsing music.

* * *

 

The ship was huge, a proper cruise liner. It was a dark hot pink, with massive floor lights shining upwards. Each porthole had a different colour light beaming out of it, and the music was very, very loud. Luffy’s jaw had dropped in excitement.

“I hear it has twelve different all-you-can-eat buffets,” he was babbling to Usopp, “And karaoke!”

“SUPERRRRR!” Franky boomed, “Frrranky loves karaoke!”

“We must have a face off!” Brook gasped, “I’m sure I can out sing all of you!”

Usopp crossed his arms and smirked, “As if. I am the Great Usopp, the karaoke champion of the East Blue, after all. I will defeat all of you!”

“I don’t remember any karaoke championships being held in the East Blue,” Zoro said.

“Well, it was an underground sort of thing.”

“Hmm, there will be lots of ladies there too,” Nami said brightly, innocently but with a twinkle in her eye, “Just your sort of place, Sanji?”

 _She’s putting me on the spot with Zoro right there_ , Sanji realised. He did adore Nami but she had a heart of snakes when she was against you. Anyway, she was right, it was his sort of place! He and Zoro weren’t anything close to exclusive so why should he care what Zoro thought. The swordsman had hardly reacted anyway.

_That green haired bastard, how dare he not care?_

“Come on come on come on it’s time to board!” Luffy said, jumping up and down, “Will they mind if I just climb on?”

“You need to pay an entry fee, of course they will-,”

“GOMU GOMU NO-,”

“Not that you care,” Nami finished as Luffy rocketed up on board the ship. “I doubt we’ll see him again until the ship’s police call us about a rubber man in a food coma.”

Sanji actually saw his captain twice as he moved around the cruiser. He was certainly having a good time. The first time he was at the buffet, really stretching the limits of “all you can eat”. The staff looked pained as they watched him, and tourists starting taking pictures of him.

Next, he was in a karaoke room duetting with a man dressed as a frog in front of a screaming audience, and Usopp pouting in the background, probably having lost his crown as karaoke champion. Zoro had disappeared (probably to a bar, or to find a fight), Nami had gone to the gambling rooms with Chopper and Robin, and Brook had somehow managed to be hired as a singer in one of the nightclubs.

Sanji was left to do what he had come here to do. Find a woman. And yet, even as he saw skimpier and skimpier dressed women he couldn’t get his heart to pound as it usually did. He felt no drive to go and tell them how beautiful they were, and request their company.

 _The moss idiot had poisoned my mind_ , he thought, _He’s sent his spores into my brain to rewire it so that I can’t enjoy life anymore._

_You enjoy life when you’re with him, though_

_I barely tolerate him_

_That’s not how you felt last night_

Once again, a mental diablo jambe was required and duly dealt out. This was when his inner turmoil was disrupted by someone coming up to him.

A lady, an absolutely beautiful one, with smooth skin, a tiny dress and large breasts, biting her lip as she leant over him. “Are you alone?”

“Alone?” he asked, transfixed with her beauty.

“Yeah, you look all lonely here.”

Sanji guessed he did look a bit like a loser sitting by himself in a random bar. “I guess I am.” A bar, ha he must look like Zoro did when he went and drank alone. No, who cares about Zoro.

“Would you like me to keep you company?”

 _Yes,_ he was forcing himself to think, _I’d love for Z- what the fuck- this lady to keep me company. What the fuck._

“Actually, I’m waiting for someone.” _What the fuuuck._

“Too bad,” she winked at him and sauntered off.

_What is happening to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?_

A simply divine, ravishing woman had hit on _him_ and he’d lied and turned her down. The moss spores, the moss spores!

“Who was she?” and then the moss monster himself had materialised. He had changed shirt. He looked ridiculously good. _Bastard_.

“A random lady,” Sanji said honestly, taking a gulp of his drink.

Zoro was looking at him searchingly, “Did you just turn her down?”

“No,” Sanji snapped, “she was asking for the bathroom.” A lie, but he wouldn’t let Zoro know he was turning people down for him. Zoro accepted the lie though (he probably didn’t believe it) and took the seat next to Sanji.

“Found anyone you like yet?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“What?” Sanji’s head whipped to look at Zoro in surprise. He’d thought Zoro wanted their relationship just as not-exclusive as he did, but Zoro was looking at him intensely, with heavy lidded eyes.

“Good,” he repeated, and leant forward to murmur into Sanji’s ear, sending shivers down his spine, “I don’t like to share.”

Apparently Zoro wanted their relationship as not-exclusive as Sanji did. That was to say, not not-exclusive.

Walking down a corridor, Nami said to Robin, “I wonder if Sanji actually did go try and hit on girls.”

“It looks like somebody else got there sooner,” was the reply.

Just ahead of them, the cook and swordsman were making out against a wall.

* * *

 

“The topic of this meeting: Is it a relationship or not,” Usopp banged a hammer on the table. Seven out of the nine straw-hats were sat in the galley. Zoro and Sanji had not very subtly gone to the crow’s nest.

“Sanji will kill you if you scratch the table,” Nami said. The intervention meeting had been called, the one they did every so often when something really needed to be intervened with, like when Usopp built a robot Kaya. Even Nami got one when she got incredibly homesick and decided to turn the entire deck into an orange tree grove.

Upon Nami’s threat Usopp hurriedly put the hammer down and joined his hands together. “Thank you, Nami. Now, Sanji and Zoro, yes or no?”

“Sanji tells me they’re not official, but stops flirting so much with Robin and me and starts turning down willing girls at clubs,” Nami told them, “I vote yes, but they’re in denial about it.”

“They make a pretty great couple, right?” Luffy had been nothing but enthusiastic about the new pair. He loved it especially that his two second in commands in battle were getting along well now! Ships were always better when everyone is best friends.

“I agree, Luffy-san,” Brook sighed, “I’ve already written two ballads about them.” He added, “Don’t tell them.”

“How long has it been going on for, since before I joined the crew?” Franky wondered, “I did notice from the start they had a pretty groovy rhythm between them.”

All of them could name at least two times Sanji and Zoro had communicated through a look alone, and then attacked in brutal formation.

“You never saw the Davy Back fight,” Usopp whistled, “Man, that was crazy. They spent most of it fighting each other, then turned on the enemy together and _destroyed_ them.”

“They’re both really strong,” Luffy was saying happily, “Imagine if they had kids now. Kicking swordsmen!” His eyes glazed over.

“There are a few biological issues in the way of that,” Robin reminded him.

“Like what?”

Chopper cut over, “but Zoro told me the other day that they don’t have romantic feelings for each other, that’s why they’re not an official couple.”

“Or,” Franky scratched his chin, “They didn’t communicate, so Zoro has romantic feelings but thinks Sanji doesn’t have any, so told you neither of them did to save face. Meanwhile, Sanji has romantic feelings but thinks Zoro doesn’t have any!”

Chopper’s jaw dropped. “No!”

“I feel a new song coming on,” Brook murmured. “It’s called, ‘Unrequited- OR NOT!’.”

“I wanna hear it!” Luffy jumped to his feet and he and the skeleton musician bounded out of the galley to find a piano.

“Do you think they’ll get it together soon?” Usopp asked.

Robin was smiling, “I definitely think so. Cook just needs to come to terms with his feelings.”

* * *

 

Cook was still refusing to come to terms with his feelings. He’d decided that just because he was now exclusively sleeping with Zoro, that was to say with him and no one else, that didn’t mean that they were a couple nor that romance was involved.

“Fine,” was what Zoro said. What Zoro was thinking was that it probably wouldn’t be too difficult to get Sanji officially as his own. Once over this hump it would be easy sailing with the blonde.

The sea had been so peaceful lately they were starting to get suspicious. Where was the danger? Luffy took to staring out to sea with a telescope to try spot something that might try and kill them, so he could turn the ship straight towards it.

It was getting the point that they knew something had to be soon. They were having too good a time, it was getting mysterious.

Naturally, they were just letting their guards down when a horrific monstrosity rose from the sea and loomed down on them.

No one could really tell what it was, some form of sea king? It had something akin to a pig snout, but which was more in the shape of a shield that guarded the forehead. Its body was covered in hard scales.

“Cool!” Luffy started stretching out his muscles. A grin appeared on Zoro’s face. Nami called good luck to them from the galley. “I wanna punch its nose!” Luffy yelled, “GOMU GOMU NO PISTON!”

His arm stretched back and then flew forward in the direction of the snout. Hitting it, Luffy yelped in pain and retracted his arm. “Hard! Snout shield is hard!” Being made of rubber, and the snout blunt, he was otherwise uninjured.

The monster was annoyed now, and with a loud cross between an oink and a roar, it blew a stream of boiling water towards them. Screeching, everyone ducked for cover, Brook narrowly evading the jet.

“My skin! My skin is burning!” he screamed, then paused, “I don’t have any skin! I’m alright!”

“Idiot,” Zoro muttered, all three swords unsheathed and ready to use them. “I’ll try next, give me a boost, cook.”

Without waiting for an answer, he lunged forward, but Sanji wasn’t expecting him to wait and swung his leg round and kicked the swordsman towards the monster. That was when massive scaly tentacles appeared from underwater. Spotting them, he changed his attack strategy and sliced them instead, then kicked off the snout to land back on the deck. “Tentacles,” he said simply.

“We saw,” Sanji replied dryly, watching the beast to analyse it a little longer. It raised new tentacles, and Luffy and Zoro raced to meet them, so they didn’t crash down on Sunny.

Franky took the opportunity to let his shoulder machine guns open fire upon it, but the hard scales adorning its body meant they had no effect but to anger it further. Robin had summoned giant hands to try and hold down its tentacles, but most of them were being hidden underwater, and no matter how many she held down, more appeared. Its skin was secreting something acidic too, and it began to feel painful to touch it.

Zoro landed back on the deck. “You’re not being very much help, cook.”

“I think I know how to beat it,” he replied, “I’ll need you to cover me.”

“Easy shit,” Zoro said. This was something he could do in his sleep for Sanji.

The cook called for everyone’s attention, “Listen up losers! I think its weak spot is the forehead, see how it has that giant snout to protect it? I need you guys to distract the tentacles while I kick it, alright?”

“Good plan, Sanji,” Luffy beamed, “Do I get to punch it some more?”

“As much as you want.”

“Sweet,” his smile grew.

“Those things are fast,” Zoro warned, “Will you be okay?”

“I’m faster in battle than you are,” Sanji rolled his eyes, “And I can fly.” Zoro shrugged in agreement.

“What if the forehead isn’t the weak spot,” Usopp asked.

“Then I’m fucked. On my mark,” Sanji rolled his shoulders back. “Three, two-“

Zoro took hold of Sanji’s chin and kissed him, “Be careful.”

“-one,” Sanji winked at him and jumped. In the air, several tentacles at once made jabs for him, but some were held down by giant hands, some cut off and some punched away. He focused all his energy on his foot as he positioned it to get behind the snout, and it burst into flames at this command.

“DIABLO JAMBE!” His foot hit the forehead with a crunch as it crushed inwards, apparently his intuition had been correct. Nami winced as she remembered something she’d said once, _you almost feel sorry for the monster when they’re fighting._

There was a deafening squawk as it fell backwards. Sanji jumped back to get out of the way, sky walking to suspend himself in the air. It sunk beneath the water, and he hopped back towards the ship.

“Never bother questioning me,” he said happily as he landed. “I’m always right!”

“Yeah, yeah, well done smart-ass cook,” but Zoro was grinning at him behind his sarcastic words. Sanji found himself smiling back, and in a moment of exhilarated affection pulled Zoro’s face forward and kissed his cheek.

Franky wolf whistled and he steadily ignored him, “Does anyone want a snack? I’m beat,” he said to the loud chorus of yes’s. He took Zoro’s hand as he made his way to the galley, and the swordsman made no move to let go.

“A couple,” the cyborg whispered to Chopper, “Definitely a couple.”

* * *

 

Sanji woke up the next morning painfully comfortable and with a heavy, muscular lump of a swordsman on top of him and snoring into his shoulder. He thought absently they probably should have moved out of the crow’s nest and somewhere more discreet, lest someone come find them, but he wouldn’t give up the fluttery feeling in his heart from Zoro’s snuffling face for anything in the world. His lover was dead to the world, entirely at peace lying on his Sanji-pillow with no respect for the cook’s blood circulation.

Sanji contemplated pushing him off, when the man must have somehow sensed this and made a small moany noise as he repositioned, and Sanji felt his entire heart melt and drain out of his ears onto the floor.

Fuck.

The only thing covering the two of them was the small blanket Zoro had dragged over his waist as he flopped on top of the blonde and entered the dream world. His back was bare and facing the ceiling.

Absently, with no real control over his actions, Sanji lifted a hand and started stroking up and down Zoro’s back. It was surprisingly smooth. He had touched it before, but last night he had been clawing it rather than gently running his hands up and down it. There were no scars, unlike Zoro’s jagged chest, despite all the battle’s he’d been in.

 _Scars on the back are a swordsman’s shame_.

It struck Sanji suddenly how this back, which Zoro guarded so vehemently, was now being left entirely to Sanji’s mercy. He bent his fingers slightly and started running his nails gently over the skin. Zoro was asleep, entirely trusting that Sanji would cause him no harm, that his unguarded back was safe under the cook’s care.

They were both entirely vulnerable. Sanji was quite literally pinned down, though he could kick Zoro off if he wanted to (as if), and neither clothed, both with their guards entirely down. And Sanji caressing this back, running his fingers in mindless circles. He liked the feeling. He liked this feeling a lot, lying on the floor feeling entirely safe in such a vulnerable situation.

Fuck.

Were these… Feelings?

“That feels nice,” Zoro yawned.

Sanji kicked him to the other side of the room, pulled on his pants and jumped down the ladder. Zoro sat blinking, alone now, skin still tingling where Sanji had been stroking his back, and he’d been secretly awake enjoying it. The cook would have to face things soon enough, he thought to himself, but Zoro also thought that as long as he still got to hold him, it was fine if he wanted to be in denial a little longer.

Though, to be truthful, Sanji was now very much starting to slide out of the denial zone. Casual kisses started to be a common occurrence, even in front of the crew. At breakfast when Zoro wondered into the kitchen he’d get a good morning kiss. At lunch, he’d get a good afternoon kiss. In evenings, he got long kisses after dinner while he helped wash dishes.

Sanji was as over the top with Nami and Robin as ever, but once his display was over he was back at Zoro’s side to take his hand and pet his hair. This new loveliness was a surprise to Zoro, but he was loving the attention. He wasn’t sure how he had done it, but he had gone from being Sanji’s worst enemy to being preferred to the two women of the crew.

Amazing.

One evening the crew was hanging out together, Zoro and Sanji sat as close as possible, when Zoro swung his legs over Sanji’s lap, laid his head on Sanji’s shoulder and fell asleep. Smiling, Sanji started petting his hair.

“Is this what romantic feelings look like?” Chopper whispered to Franky.

“Yeah,” he whispered back.

“So they’re a couple?”

“As soon as one of them asks the other,” he replied, “But for all intents and purposes, this is exactly what a couple is.”

Nami decided it was high time they stopped being stupid. Sure it was sweet, but now it was annoying to see them so into each other, literally explicitly not sleeping with anyone but each other, and yet somehow _not_ official? She had given up on Sanji, and decided to go for Zoro.

She confronted him while Sanji was preparing lunch. “Official yet?” she demanded.

“Hello to you too, Nami,” he responded “Yeah, I’m doing okay, how about you?”

“Enough of the crap,” she waved him off, “When are you making it official?”

Zoro exhaled deeply and looked away. “Thanks for your concern, Nami, but it isn’t really anything to do with you.”

“I know you’d be happier if your dumb cook would agree to officially be _your_ dumb cook,” she said, “So why aren’t you making him?”

“He’s confusing,” Zoro finally whined, “I can never tell with him. All I know is that he’s definitely into me and is up for the things that couples do.”

Nami nodded seriously. “I’ll get answers,” her devious grin appeared, “It’s time for one final test…”

A little afraid, Zoro asked, “What is it?”

She giggled. “I’ll hit on him. Then we’ll see how committed he is.”

“What? No!” Zoro yelped.

She frowned at him, and then realised, “Aw honey, you think he’ll go for it, don’t you? Don’t worry, I have more faith, and if he does I’ll smack some sense into him.”

“He’s always been obsessed with you,” Zoro defended himself.

“He rarely gives me a second glance these days before running after you,” she told him, “I’ll get him to admit he’s yours, don’t worry.” And she walked off briskly, he knew she still had the smile on her face.

Lunch was as delicious as ever, but Zoro felt tense. Nami kept smirking at him, and then winking at Sanji. Surprisingly, at the winks Sanji simply beamed at her, but was more concerned with Zoro’s stiff shoulders, asking him if he was okay.

Maybe this plan might actually work. Once lunch was over, and Sanji was clearing plates, Nami waved her hand to get everyone to leave, a few of them looking at Sanji sympathetically as they headed out. Bets had been made. She remained sitting, and as soon as they were all gone loosened her stance and got ready.

“Saaaanji-kun,” she purred, leaning forward to thrust her breasts forward, “Thank you for the delicious meal!”

“Ah mellorine! You make me so happy, thank you,” he said, genuinely pleased. He couldn’t not adore compliments from a woman.

“You're welcome…” she sat back to bat her eyelashes, “You're really soooo good at cooking you know.”

He seemed to realise something was up, and his forehead creased slightly, “...thank you.”

“And good looking, too.”

He stared at her blankly. “Nami… are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, are you? Wouldn't you normally be all over me by now?” she arched a perfect eyebrow and tossed her hair.

“I guess, but...,” something felt uncomfortable in Sanji’s stomach. He just couldn’t fathom accepting Nami’s advances. He looked at her. She was grinning evilly.

“But what?” she asked, clearly delighted.

“But I…” he realised the reason behind her attack, and his reasons behind rejecting it, “Oh no...”

“I can’t believe this!” she laughed and clapped her hands, “You properly like Zoro, don’t you!

“No!” he yelled out of habit, feeling defensive and vulnerable.

“You rejected me for him! You've been after me since we met!! This is amazing!” her eyes were wide and bright, “I just made 10,000 Beri from Usopp, that fucking non-believer!”

“No!” Sanji tried once more, “I just... I just…”

“You did the same on the party boat!” she wasn’t letting him get out of this one.

“I just! Agghh!” finally defeated, the cook collapsed onto a seat and laid his head on his arms. The struggle was over. The battle was won.

“How are you just realising this? You've been refusing to call yourselves official even though you snuggle all the time, and now you're damn committed to each other! You won’t even flirt with _me_ ,” she chastised him.

The blonde was still groaning in his arms, “I can’t believe this... just months ago I was jumping at the chance for time with a lovely lady... now I just want a damn marimo?? How could this happen?”

Finally, Sanji was finally admitting it all. He wanted Zoro and no one else.

“It’s alright honey,” she felt a little sorry for him, knowing it was a lot for him to finally accept his feelings, “Just don't go all lovey dovey on him and call him mellorine.”

“That’s just my way of being affectionate,” he looked up to defend himself. He couldn’t not call lovely ladies mellorine, it was habit.

She hummed, “I don’t think Zoro would want that kind of affection.”

“I reserve all my affection for ladies!” he yelped, as though he’d been insulted.

Nami glared at him as though he was stupid, “Yesterday you went and wrapped your arms around his waist and nuzzled into his shoulder at sunset.”

“I meant verbal affection,” he slumped sulkily in his seat.

“You call him babe,” she reminded him, starting to be very done with all the denial.

“You know what i mean, I think if I went all lovey on him like I do with girls he'd leave me.”

“He can't leave you if you're not officially together,” Nami grinned, thinking that he was admitting they were a couple.

Sanji took it differently. “You're right... so you're saying we shouldn't be official and that way he can't leave me?”

Nami had had enough now.

“IM SAYING GO GET YOUR FUCKING MAN!!!”

There was one more problem. “But what if he says no?”

“He’s not gonna say no he likes you!”

“Zoro likes me?”

“He's been staring at your butt for years!”

“My butt?” Sanji blinked. He’d never noticed.

“GO!” she screamed. Knowing when it was time to stop fighting, Sanji scrambled out and onto the deck. Not unexpectedly, the entire crew was sat outside. He glared at them, and turned to his marimo.

“Dumbass, can we talk for a moment?”

A little hesitantly, he said, “Sure,” and followed him away.

Nami left the galley. Everyone stared her. She winked and gave a thumbs up. Everyone high fived, apart from Usopp who groaned, having lost 10,000 Beri.

Zoro wasn’t sure what to think, he was pretty sure Sanji wasn’t going to announce that he was leaving him, and couldn’t get over Nami, but then again, he wasn’t sure if Sanji could actually leave him if they weren’t official.

And then Sanji said, “Listen, do you want to be official?”

Zoro stared at him in wonder. “Actually?”

“Well that’s what everyone’s gossiping about, we might as well clarify,” Sanji looked sulky now, as though Zoro hadn’t given a favourable answer.

“You’re saying you want to date for real,” Zoro was grinning now. He took a step closer to Sanji, whose sulky expression had mysteriously disappeared at Zoro’s grin.

“We might as well, it’s not as if I hate your company,” Sanji said looking away, but his hand settling on Zoro’s forearm.

“Even though you prefer women?” Zoro had to tease him one last time.

“I prefer _you_ ,” Sanji said, and now Zoro was powerless to him, as he beamed, grabbed his face and kissed him. Sanji made a happy noise and responded with equal enthusiasm, sighing and let himself be pulled close. He broke away for a moment to ask, “So that’s a yes?”

“It would have been a yes six months ago,” Zoro breathed.

“Eh?” Sanji frowned, “So Nami wasn’t kidding when she said you’ve been staring at my butt for years…”

“You have a cute butt,” Zoro agreed.

It hadn’t been too long after they met that Zoro noticed that yes, the new cook on their ship had a cute butt. It was well toned from all the leg attacks he did, and usually well visible in the cook’s suit pants. He hadn’t done anything about it, as at that time he barely liked the cook’s personality, and a cute butt was no match for such an annoying guy. It wasn’t until he started to realise the cook was an alright guy, and caring and selfless, that he started to look further than just the cute butt.

The more time he spent with him, he was also funny, and understood Zoro in the ways others didn’t. Then it wasn’t just his butt that was cute, but also his face, and his hair. Then they started talking more, washing dishes together, joking and almost flirting. Then Sanji had kissed him. So sure, it would have been a yes six months ago, if Sanji had sought him instead of that pretty girl from Periwinkle Island.

He told all of this to Sanji, he decided he might as well, and Sanji stared at him as though he had just had a strange premonition, and suddenly Zoro was a whole new person. And then his tongue was in Zoro’s mouth, so Zoro stopped thinking about other things and decided that was much better to focus on.

* * *

 

The crew was much happier now that the air had been cleared, aside from Usopp who was 10,000 Beri more in debt than before. Chopper felt much better informed in the ways of human relationships, Brook had much to compose about, Franky thought it was beautiful and kept crying, and Nami looked as satisfied as if she had orchestrated the entire thing.

If it was possible, Sanji became even more affectionate now that they were properly together. His public kisses were longer, the casual touches more frequent and his gaze more lingering. They started having dinner separate from the crew down in the aquarium on occasion if they felt like it, while Zoro-and-Sanji became even more of a household term.

The months slipped by, wonderful months in which Sanji’s bright smile was flashed at him if Zoro simply entered a room. They started sleeping in the same bunk, squeezing in and laying on top of each other until Franky had had enough and made them a new, double bunk. Luffy at once flopped on top of it spread eagle, stretching his limbs to fill it, but two dangerous glares from his crewmates and he rolled off.

Usopp, not ready to be traumatised, had made them promise that they would still keep funny business restricted to the crow’s nest. Neither made that promise, so he made himself some sound proof ear plugs.

They came across an island, a few months after Zoro and Sanji got their shit together, as Franky referred to the event. It seemed largely empty, aside from a big mountain at the centre. Luffy’s adventure sensors started going haywire, and he demanded they go and explore it.

“Let’s make camp first,” Sanji said, “Set up the tents then we can go find something that wants to kill us.” At that appetising promise, Luffy got to work putting them up at double time and jumped from foot to foot waiting for the go ahead for an adventure.

They set off from the beach and into the forest, heading for the large mountain in the centre of the island. Nami and Luffy were taking the lead, and Zoro and Sanji the rear. They walked with their joined hands swinging in between them, as they followed their nakama through the dense trees. It was still striking to them how right they felt together, how easy it was to be together after all the time spent disliking.

The island was entirely deserted aside from themselves, no hint of civilisation. It was silent apart from the birds, and seeing as the island was small, if there were people around they’d be able to hear them, or see their campfire smoke.

“It’s so quiet,” Sanji mentioned, “Why do you think the Luffy Radar went off?”

“There’s probably something up,” Zoro said, “He’s usually right when he gets an idea like this into his head.” Sanji hummed in agreement. It occurred to him then that in their excitement of an approaching island he hadn’t kissed Zoro at all that day.

He stopped walking and Zoro paused immediately with him. Sanji turned and pressed their lips together gently before continuing behind the others.

“Any reason?” Zoro asked, pleased nonetheless.

“We didn’t kiss this morning,” Sanji said, “A travesty.”

“A huge one,” Zoro smirked, “Maybe we should kiss again, just to make up for it.”

But it was at this moment they noticed that the others had stopped walking, having come to a clearing ahead. They walked through the gap in the trees to see what they were staring at. They halted immediately, too.

In the clearing was a village. Or, what was left of a village.

The huts were blackened with fire, the grass burnt away, barns collapsed. The floor was covered in skeletons, on the roads, obviously trying to escape whatever had attacked them.

“Oh,” was all Sanji could manage.

Luffy had gone very quiet, in the way he went quiet when he was very angry, and very ready to fight someone.

“They were attacked with fire,” Robin observed, “The only way out was through the forest, it doesn’t look like anyone made it that far.”

“Are the attackers still here?” Nami asked, “A rival tribe, maybe?”

“If there was a rival tribe, wouldn’t we have seen them?” Usopp asked. “Campfire smoke, like ours?”

“They might be on the other side of the island, behind the mountain,” Sanji mentioned, a chill starting to enter his heart as his eye caught sight of a very small skeleton, lying not too far from them.

Luffy was breathing very deeply. “Let’s fight them,” he said.

“We’ll need to find them first,” Zoro had let go of Sanji’s hand, “Should we climb the mountain to see if we can get a better view from there?”

Luffy nodded in agreement. Sanji said, “There’s a chance they already know we’re here. We should stay wary.”

The crew was silent as they made their way through the village. It was small, but the destruction was huge, not a single building left standing, or a single person left alive, unless they had managed it and fled the island.

They re-entered the forest and continued on their way to the mountain. Zoro kept his swords unsheathed, and Nami took out her clima-tact, and Usopp his staff off his back. Chopper transformed into arm point. It was rare that the normally jovial crew was tense like this, but it wasn’t the first time.

They finally came to the base of the mountain. The trees stopped and the smooth rock began. Steps had been carved into it. The straw hats began to climb them, following the path marked out. It wound round the mountain a way. They came to an area where more trees were growing. The steps led away from it, but Usopp’s sharp eyes caught sight of an opening.

“Guys, there’s a giant cave over there.”

“Maybe it’s a secret tunnel,” Brook offered as an explanation, but Luffy didn’t need an explanation to follow his gut feeling, jump down from the path and go and check it out. The crew followed their captain over to where the trees were hiding the massive opening to the cave. They pushed the foliage out of the way and looked in. It was pitch black. Sanji fished out his lighter and flicked it on to offer some light. The cave was too big for it to make much of a difference, but Luffy stepped in anyway.

There was a strange sound coming from the back of it, something that they couldn’t quite recognise. Something crunched beneath Luffy’s foot. He kicked it, and it jangled. Coins. The noise from the back of the cave grew louder. It was a grunting, huffy sound.

“There’s something in there,” Usopp whispered, voice wavering.

Sanji’s mind was whirring with thought. A cave filled with coins. A town destroyed by fire. A loud beast within the cave filled with coins above a town destroyed by fire. The beast now making louder noises. Oh shit.

“Guys,” he said, “I think we need to fucking run.”

That was when there was a howling roar, and more fire than they had seen come out of anywhere burst towards them. They jumped out of the way, and started fleeing back to the forest for cover as the gigantic shitty dragon clawed out of the cave, roaring in anger for being disturbed.

“We should fight it back in the clearing!” Zoro was yelling, “Try and make it back there without getting burnt to a crisp!”

He glanced back to check everyone was with them, and even though he knew Sanji could take care of himself looked out for him too. The blonde was running beside him, face emotionless, looking back to check on the dragon which had now swooped into the air, and was diving towards them.

He and Zoro shared a look. Zoro jumped, Sanji kicked him into the air and he swung at the dragon, managing to injure its leg, but the rest of its tough hide was too strong to pierce. The dragon screeched and soared upwards again, giving the crew time to dive into the trees. Zoro landed back on his feet and nodded at Sanji.

They could hear its cries as they made their way back through the trees, and he wondered absently if the dragon could do anything like heat vision, and how good its hearing was.

Pretty damn good, as the trees erupted in flames close to them. “Keep going!” he yelled, seeing light up ahead where the clearing was. The village appeared before them and the dragon overhead, having followed them there.

“What’s the plan,” Robin panted.

“Uh, dodge fire, aim for the eyes,” Sanji looked panicked, “That’s all I have right now.”

“It’s enough,” Luffy’s eyes were cold, and ready to avenge the villagers he had never met in his life.

“I’ll see if lightning will affect it,” Nami said, getting ready for lightning tempo.

“Kicking?” Zoro asked Sanji.

“Cutting?” Sanji asked Zoro.

“Yup,” they said at the same time, and started to do just that. Chopper swallowed a rumble ball and transformed into his monster form. Robin started forming hands on the dragon, trying to see if she could tickle a weak spot and point it out to the rest of the crew. The wings were too strong and too big for her to try and pin down.

“LIGHTNING TEMPO!” Nami screamed, and the dragon was struck hard, screaming loudly, but then continuing to fly with added fury. It swooped and sent a curtain of flames their way. There was nothing they could do but dodge, though Zoro felt the hairs on the back of his neck singe.

The flames dyed down, but the dragon was still low, and Zoro saw his chance. He ran and jumped, legs not as powerful as Sanji’s but capable of doing the job, and swung his sword. It hit the leg, slicing it clean off, but the dragon was fast and manoeuvred quickly.

Suddenly it had turned around, and was coming straight for Zoro, still suspended in the air, with its mouth open to do God knows what.

And then, some stupid foot came out of nowhere and kicked him out of the way, and then he watched as his Sanji disappeared into the dragon’s mouth.

Nami screamed piercingly, a sound that Zoro wanted to make, but was struck too dumb to manage. He could feel his heart trying to escape his chest, his mind numb, his legs weak.

But then-

“DIABLO JAMBE!” And with that, the dragon’s throat ripped open as a flaming foot shot through it, and a blonde rolled to the floor. The dragon collapsed, dead. Chopper screamed. “CALL THE DOCTOR! CALL THE DOCTOOOOOOR!”

Zoro practically flew over and slid to his knees. “Sanj? Sanji, are you okay?” His heart was hammering as he poked him. Sanji’s eyes snapped open and he sat up.

“Fucking hell, that was _disgusting!_ Jesus Christ, I’m actually going to kill myself!” He picked at his suit coat in distaste, which was covered in dragon saliva. Zoro’s head was bent in relief. Sanji looked at him and whacked his shoulder, “What’s your issue? I’m the one with the ruined suit and nightmares!”

“My issue is I saw the man I fucking love be swallowed by a dragon!”

Sanji blinked. “Love?”

Zoro realised what he’d said. Well, there was no turning back now. “Yeah, I love you.”

Sanji stared at him for a moment longer, then slapped him upside of the head. “DICKHEAD! You chose the WORST TIME in the world to say that!! I’M COVERED IN DRAGON SALIVA! THIS IS THE LEAST ROMANTIC MOMENT IN THE WORD”

“Fuck that!” Zoro yelled, “I love you, tough shit!”

“Bastard!” Sanji yelled back, “I love you too!”

“Good!”

“Fine!”

The rest of the crew watched standing a little way away, next to where the corpse of the dragon was lying with a large section of its throat missing. “Well,” Robin stated, “They definitely do things in their own way.”

* * *

 

Seven years later, a man was telling this story to his two children.

“And that’s the story the story of how I got eaten by a dragon,” he finished, pleased.

His son stared at him incredulously, “That was the entire, painstaking tale of you and dad got together. Not just, how you got eaten by a dragon.”

Sanji frowned, “But if I hadn’t told you all the other stuff the “I love you” wouldn’t have held such weight!”

“Papa, you could have just said: we were on an island, I got eaten by a dragon and then spat out, and then my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time,” Cerulean told him, his brain having melted out of his skull in boredom.

His daughter’s eyes were shining, meanwhile. “I thought it was amazing!” Sapphire enthused, “What a love story… What happened next?”

Sanji’s smile grew. “Well that was the first three years, there’s another seven to come!”

Cerulean took to his feet and ran for it.

“Ungrateful son,” Sanji huffed. Sapphire stared at him expectantly. He beamed at her. “Well, after that, we went back to the ship, and I took a shower of course…”

Upstairs, Cerulean staggered into the galley, where Zoro was drinking. “You look like you’ve been through the wars, lad.”

“Papa decided to tell us the entire story of how you guys got together.”

Zoro winced. “That’s a long one. He did the same thing to Zeff, he actually fell asleep.”

Cerulean sighed. “At least it was romantic.”

And the swordsman smiled. “Yeah, it was.”

**Author's Note:**

> This might seem a bit hurried, I wrote in 14k what should probably have been done in 25k but I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. If you can't be asked to read the main story here's the low key details:
> 
> The girl Sanji keeps talking about earlier on had his kids, Sapphire and Cerulean, who Sanji and Zoro adopt seven years after the events of this story when the girl dies. The main story is about all that shit.
> 
> Comment and kudos if you liked it!


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